• Peter James Flynn

    Lorelei Fuller was the source if one of my more interesting aviation nights. I was working for an avionics company in St. Louis Park MN a suburb of Minneapolis and my boss too us to an avionics show in New Orleans. Pilots have terrible sense of style but I’d been a pretty boy in Minneapolis and always true to maje it look stylish. Lame but true. That event was funny. All day the Saints cheerleaders walked by and gestured to me to talk to them. Working I shook my head. They gestured again. Again I shook my head. Gesturing confused. Head shake, sorry. Gesture irritated. Shake head really sorry. They went away and came back and it happened all over again. Near the end of the day I went up to their booth. They were impressed. You found us. Can I have an umbrella. Here you ahh, sugah. What are you girls doing tonight? Goin dancin’ dahlin do you wanna gaoh? You want me to go dancing with New Orleans Saints cheerleaders? What’d I do to you? You could sugah. I can’t dance well. That’s alraaaiigght, sugah. All you haaaavve to do is dance laaaaiikke you mean it, sugaaah. I’ll go if you say that. Whaat? Sugaaah. Yup. Ok, sugaah we’ll say sugaaah. You’ll meet us, sugaah. Yes. Baaayyyye. The night didn’t go that way.
    After work that day we ate at the Acme Oyster Company and I ate 40 small fresh gulf oysters. Not total gluttony but enough for sure. After we were walking down Bourbon Street and the annoying touristy every night is Mardi Gras thing and the breasts for bead thing and my annoying coworkers got on my nerves and I moved over to a street parallel to Bourbon and I was just walking enjoying the scene and walked by a bar that was bangin awesome punk rock and in my consevative business clothes I went in. All the black leather jackets looked at me and looked away. That was my world and I wasn’t even slightly intimidated. I sat at the bar and started talking to the bartender and he quickly told me he had just moved to New Orleans. Like it? Love it. See that girl? I looked and was stunned. Holy fuck!! She’s hot as hell!!! She’s been looking at you. You lie. She has and she doesn’t do that. Suddenly she was standing right next to me. I’m Lorelai. Peter. What are you doing here, petah. Here for an avionics show. Yuah a pilot. Yes. That’s hot. It is? It is sugaahh. I laughted. What do you do? See thaaat doah, sugaahh. Yes. Through thaaat doaaaahh, sugaaah is the shimshamette burlesque compaaannyy. You’re a burlesque dancer. You’re a good one. I’m verrrryy Gouuod, sugaaahh. Ahm ohn a calendahh, sugaaagh would you laaiike one. Sure. She gave me one and I opened it. Hey, this is January and it looks like an early picture of Marilyn Monroe. I didn’t know at the tiiiimmme, Sugaawah buuut I found out later it was. You’re hotter than her. Ahhhm noott, sugaah. As hot as her, aaahhhm not that eithaah. Want to do exstacy with me. Sweetie I can’t because I’m a pilot. God, I wanted to. I’d never done exstacy before and has done many other drugs before I started flying. She was not amused. I waaahhhnnteed you to do exstacy with me and walk around aaahhll niiigghht. Not at all fair!!! I can’t darling. I was bummed. Too baaahhhd dahhlin, baayyye and she left smiling. The bartender cracked up. Do you realize how many guys try with her and get swatted aside. Hmmm. You realize what you turned down don’t you? YES!! I know what exstacy leads to. You regret it don’t you? Yes, and I’d like to stop talking about it. That made him laugh really hard. I guess I’d call that my brush with greatness. Or something. I stayed yapping with him until 430 and made it to the booth at 9. My boss Steve said when I saw you bail I thought I wouldn’t see you today. I’m here and I showed him January. That’s who you were talking to? Holy shit. My coworker Gerry looked at it and said, Flynn you have it so easy. Our owner Rashid said over my shoulder said that is Peter Flynn’s curse. Women will always go at him. From him that was an odd comment. Gerry wasn’t leaving it alone. Flynn you think you’re so cool. I’m cooler than you. You’re married. You think you’re so cool because you get a lot of girls. No, I think I’m cool and I get a lot of girls. Fuck you, Flynn. So thanks to you Lorelai for being so gracious and beautiful. Too bad the bar cited by Maxim as one of the 50 coolest bars in the country is closed. Even a crazy cool city like New Orleans had to miss it. Lorelai if you read this and want to talk to me my email is flying.flynn@yahoo.com. Cheers and ciaoooo, lovely Lorelai.

    Peter