Cooking for Sylar

Pitiful, I know. And I don’t even have TV. But after the kids go to bed there’s not much I’m good for, except watching television shows on the computer and thinking about food. Actually, I think food is my special power. While the Heroes characters busy themselves with slicing skulls (Sylar), healing from death (Claire) and saving the world (Peter Petrelli) I think about the mind-body connections of really good cheese. Sometimes I’m tempted to believe that the only thing that stands between me and a complete nervous breakdown is dough. Just thinking about it at the doctor’s office this morning lowered my blood pressure to 94/58. And it works on others too, it’s not all self-help. When a Norwegian priest I know lost his daughter in a car accident last month, my mind dealt with the situation by thinking up a menu, which I would prepare for him and his wife, if called upon. Mainly soups and homemade breads. The other night, I started thinking about what I would do if Sylar wanted to slice open my head—what kind of defense I would have. Duh. Freshly boiled beets coarsely cut and served warm with honey-rosemary vinaigrette and fresh goat cheese chunks. After that a really big piece of tender meat from Terranova’s, done quick in the broiler, served with roasted garlic and boiled turnips, which I would beat—friendly-like—to a pulp, with a bunch of soft butter and grated parmesan cheese. Dessert would become irrelevant. Sylar would be passed out on the floor and my 2- and 3-year-old daughters would be able to keep him down by threatening him with cookie cutters. I think this could work. Yup.