Author Archives: Chris Lee

November 11th 2010

Throwing Darts

The bye week seems like a good time to take a look at where the NFL currently stands and make some wild guesses at what will happen for the rest of the season.

NFC EAST

Giants – 6-2, 5-0 Conf., 1-0 Div.

Eagles – 5-3, 3-2 Conf., 0-1 Div.

Redskins – 4-4, 4-2 Conf., 2-0 Div.

Cowboys – 1-7, 0-5 Conf., 0-2 Div.

The Giants are on a roll but something tells me they can’t keep pace with the Falcons/Saints once they hit their divisional games. Philly looks like they have the once offense in the East to put a scare into the G-Men. Redskins will fade as Shanahan lets McNabb twist in the wind. Cowboys seem to have already thrown in the towel and could be playing spoiler for a top three draft pick. Division winner: Giants, Wild Card: Eagles.

NFC WEST

Rams – 4-4, 3-3 Conf., 1-1 Div.

Seahawks – 4-4, 3-2 Conf., 2-1 Div.

Cardinals – 3-5, 2-4 Conf., 1-1 Div.

49ers – 2-6, 0-5 Conf., 0-1 Div.

I’m not counting out the Cardinals or the 49ers completely (Okay, yes I am), but this looks like a two horse race between the Rams and the Seahawks. Which QB has the better chance to succeed? Hasselbeck, the cagey veteran QB with new addition Marshawn Lynch, or Bradford, who has the better O-line and Stephen Jackson behind him? Flip a coin. Heads, it’s Rams. Division Winner: Rams, Wild Card:  No.

NFC NORTH

Packers – 6-3, 4-2 Conf., 2-1 Div.

Bears – 5-3,  4-3 Conf., 2-0 Div.

Vikings – 3-5, 3-2 Conf., 1-1 Div.

Lions – 2-6, 2-5 Conf., 0-3 Div.

Much like the Saints, the Packers are winning despite a rash of injuries. Are they deep/lucky enough to keep it up til the cavalry arrives? The Bears still haven’t found their identity and the Lions’ bad luck (Stafford out again) continues. If the Vikings turn their funeral pyre around (this week’s improbable win and Sidney Rice will certainly help), this division is wide open, but to catch up three games with only eight left sounds like too high a mountain. Division Winner: Packers, Wild Card, No.

NFC SOUTH

Falcons – 6-2, 4-1 Conf., 2-0 Div.

Saints – 6-3, 5-2 Conf., 3-1 Div.

Buccaneers – 5-3, 3-2 Conf., 1-2 Div.

Panthers – 1-7, 1-6 Conf., 0-3 Div.

Toughest division in the NFC. Hey, great job Bucs, but here comes the big fade. Panthers are already kicking the tires on Bill Cowher and Andrew Luck.  The best two teams in the conference will be playing “Who blinks first?” on their way to a 12/27/10 showdown in Atlanta that will decide which team is a number one seed, and which is number five. The Saints just ran this horse race last year with Minnesota on their heels the last half of the season. The Saints have proven their depth by winning without a bevy of their key players; can Atlanta match them if their injury luck runs out? Watch for Atlanta to crack under the pressure.  Division Winner:  Saints, Wild Card: Atlanta.

AFC EAST

Jets – 6-2, 4-1 Conf., 3-0 Div.

Patriots – 6-2, 5-2 Conf., 2-1 Div.

Dolphins – 4-4, 2-4 Conf., 1-2 Div.

Bills – 0-8, 0-6 Conf., 0-3 Div.

Okay forget the Bills, and you can probably forget the Dolphins too, just not enough talent to overtake the Pats and Jets. I want to bet against the Jets, but they just keep winning. Their defense will keep them in any game, but has Sanchez matured enough to beat Brady down the stretch? I think not.

Division Winner: Patriots, Wild Card: Jets.

AFC WEST

Chiefs 5-3, 4-3 Conf., 1-1 Div.

Raiders 5-4, 3-2 Conf., 3-0 Div.

Chargers 4-5, 3-3 Conf., 0-2 Div.

Broncos 2-6, 1-5 Conf., 0-1 Div.

Chargers seem to be starting their annual late season run. The Chiefs and Raiders are both playing solid defense and running the ball well, while the Broncos are in a tailspin. If it comes down to QB play, don’t you have to take the Chargers? Screw that. Division winner: Chiefs, Wild Card: No.

AFC NORTH

Ravens 6-2, 6-2 Conf., 2-1 Div.

Steelers 6-2, 4-1 Conf., 2-1 Div.

Browns 3-5, 2-3 Conf., 1-2 Div.

Bengals 2-6, 1-4 Conf., 1-2 Div.

That Saints loss to the Browns doesn’t seem so bad this week, does it? The Bengals are dangerous, but too inconsistent to stay in the playoff picture. Ravens and Steelers both make the playoffs, but I’ll give the edge to experience here. Division Winner:  Steelers, Wild Card: Ravens.

AFC SOUTH

Titans 5-3, 2-3 Conf., 1-0 Div.

Colts 5-3, 3-2 Conf., 1-2 Div.

Jaguars 4-4, 3-3 Conf., 1-1 Div.

Texans 4-4, 3-2 Conf., 1-1 Div.

Colts seem to have come down to earth somewhat due to injuries. Can Manning carry this team all by himself? Jaguars and Texans have too many question marks to take seriously. Titans take a gamble on Moss. Will it open things up for Chris Johnson? I say yes, but when will Randy will pull another “Raaaaaaandyyyyyyy!!!” Division Winner:  Colts, Wild Card: No.

THE JIM MORA MEMORIAL “PLAYOFFS?  PLAYOFFS!!!??” MIDSEASON PREDICTION

I was wondering what it must be like to have to play in a cold weather stadium in January. I personally hate the cold, and they always say that warm weather/dome teams are at a significant disadvantage in say, Giants Stadium or Lambeau Field in January. That was certainly true in the championship game at Chicago four years ago, So I tried taking this year’s Madden Saints on a test drive at the Giants and at the Packers in the snow. Guess what? In virtual reality, it didn’t make a difference.  Both games end up easy Saints victories. Playing at the Falcons is another story. Tough game in a tough environment. Here’s to hoping the Saints can catch Atlanta before the season is over.

AFC

Wild Card Weekend: 3. Colts vs. 6. Ravens, 4. Chiefs vs. 5. Jets.

Divisional Weekend: 1. Steelers vs 6. Ravens.  2. Patriots vs. 5. Jets.

Conference Championship:  1. Steelers vs. 2. Patriots. – Steelers win, 20-16.

NFC

Wild Card Weekend: 3. Packers vs. 6. Eagles,  4. Rams vs. 5. Falcons

Divisional Weekend: 1. Saints vs. 3. Packers,  2. Giants vs. 5. Falcons

Conference Championship: 1. Saints vs. 2. Giants – Saints win 38-21.

Super Bowl: Saints over Steelers 35-17.

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November 5th 2010

Saints/Panthers Preview: Madden Loves the Panthers

Pittsburgh Fans:  Here we go Steelers, here we go!

Me:  F$%@ you!

Pittsburgh Fans:  Here we go Steelers, here we go!

Me: F$%@ you! (ad infinitum)

A must win? Maybe. A needed win? Definitely. A signature win?  We’ll see. As Malcolm Jenkins put it, “We have to show up next week (at Carolina) because if we don’t show up next week, this win means nothing.’’ The team reportedly went to work on Monday to get a head start on the Panthers game plan, but more importantly to hammer this point home. They need to build off this win and not got back to the win one, lose one pattern they’ve established this year. If you are what your record says you are, then the Saints are 5-3 and a wildcard playoff team on the road. Giants Stadium or Lambeau Field in January is not going to be very friendly, so good for them. The Saints are not going to rest and enjoy this clearly huge win, even for a day.

But I am. Heeeeeelllll yeahhhhhhhh! What a game! Defense, defense, defense! They had a bunch of big stops and much-needed takeaways at crucial moments, stoned a great offense without their top four corners, and pretty much carried the water for the team until the offense found their rhythm. It was also great to see Sharper once again in the right place at the right time. Offense comes alive in the second half despite not being able to run the ball at all. Even Morstead had a heck of a day, continually pinning the Steelers inside their twenty. Pittsburgh didn’t blitz too much and dared Drew to thread the needle with seven and eight in coverage. And guess what? He did. An amazing game by number nine. I would even go so far as to compliment a certain place kicker’s solid game, but the first rule of Kick Club is, don’t talk about Kick Club. This is also the second rule of Kick Club.

Furthermore, that is the most opposing jerseys I’ve seen in the Dome since the Payton era began. I can’t believe so many Saints fans would sell their tickets; it’s kind of disgraceful. I was rough on the poor bastards who had to sit in my section. I always take it right to the point of getting arrested, and then pull it back just one notch when the cops start paying attention. Hey, come to New Orleans, have a great time. Even go to the game if you feel you have to, but don’t expect to have a good time. You’re not. I promise you; it’s going to suck hard. Sorry, I respect you flying your colors and waving your little towels around, but once you’re in the Dome, you’re dead. I’m going to verbally assault you and your children if you are stupid enough to bring them.  If I came to your town, I’d expect the same treatment. Before and after the game we can be friends, and we all certainly want you to have a great time enjoying our amazing city. But don’t expect any Southern hospitality in the Dome. Ain’t gonna happen. Yeah, I know it sucks to have a maniac screaming in your ear all game, but you asked for it, and you got it. [In this case, it meant having Chris Lee dressed as Spock from Star Trek yelling, "Spock is ruining your night!" at Steelers fans.--ED]

For once, the ongoing lameness of the in-Dome replay booth actually helped the Saints. On second down of the huge goal line stand, replays would have shown that Mendenhall broke the plane, or at least came pretty close. Normally these guys are too worried about slapping up the 10th Winn Dixie commercial than to do their job of showing relevant replays. This has almost always worked in favor of the away team and I’m sick of it. So thank you for your ineptitude this time. You owe us about 50 more of those. Get it together. I don’t care where the fries are hiding, or which stupid animated boat will win me an appetizer I will never collect on. We paid to watch the game, not to be your advertiser’s captive audience.  Come on!

As I mentioned last column, I moved up to the All Madden level to make the game harder. I couldn’t beat the Steelers, and frankly, I can’t beat the Panthers on it either. Jonathan Stewart had 305 yards, 3 TDs on 11 (!) carries in one game, for example. To keep me from breaking my television, I’m going to go back to All Pro. Here’s what Madden had to say:


Colston for 7.

Madden loves the Panthers. Loves their defense, loves their running game, even loves Matt Moore. This is one of the toughest teams to beat for the Saints in all of virtual football for whatever reason. So when the Panthers get the ball first and J. Stewart runs for an 80-yd TD on the first play, I’m not surprised. The Saints offense will get no such big plays today. Patience is the key with this game, and a methodical, clock controlling, balanced offense is the only way to counter all the BS Madden throws at you. Saints with the ball, long drive, lots of Ivory and Colston, capped by a 1-yd Shockey TD catch, game’s tied 7-7. Carolina drives for a 48-yd FG attempt that goes wide. Another long Saints drive that ends with an 11-yd Colston TD on a hot slant against the blitz.


Harper intercepts!

A few punts later, Harper picks off M. Moore, under pressure, but the Saints can’t capitalize when they give it right back with a C. Gamble interception.

The Panthers keep fighting and get two field goals, one after a Brees fumble, to make the score 14-13. On the ensuing possession, Brees is intercepted! Steve Smith hauls in a 59-yd TD to help the Panthers go up 20-14 at the half.

C. Ivory and J. Jones combine for 70 yards on the first drive of the second half, and Ivory scores from the one.  Saints on top, 21-20. D steps up with a three and out, and after all that running, let’s try some the play action. Touchdown!


Colston in the end zone again.

Saints 28, Panthers 20 for most of the fourth quarter, with three punts in a row. Saints drive with three and a half minutes, Carolina calls their last time out with 1:45 left and the Saints on the 10. Hartley drives the dagger in with a 27-yd field goal to finish the scoring in a hard fought win, Saints 31 Panthers 20. Brees 18-30, 303 yards, 3 TDs, 2 INTs. Ivory goes 21-104, 1 catch for 30, 1 TD, and Player of the Game Colston finishes with 10 catches for 184 yards and 2 TDs.

Looking forward to: Wade Phillips on the street. I’ve always thought the guy looked like a giant baby anyways. But now when something bad happens for the Cowboys, and it happens a lot, he’s got that look on his face that says, “Hey that’s not fair!  We’re supposed to win the Super Bowl!  I’m a baby! WAHHH!”

Not looking forward to: Impending Giants hoopla, Saints bye week. Guess I’ll have to write a  mid season summary column.

Media Prediction: Impending Giants hoopla.

Madden Tip: Download the most NFL recent rosters by going to Madden Live, then Rosters, then Download roster.

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November 1st 2010

Madden 11 Predicts The Saints in November

PITTSBURGH AT NEW ORLEANS, OCTOBER 31

On the first series, Brees is intercepted. Defense stops the Steelers, then a quick march down the field for a Shockey TD. Pitt responds with a FG. The Saints turn over the ball on the Pittsburgh 20, killing another drive, but again the defense bails them out with a three and out. With 1:12 left in the half, it’s the Pierre Thomas show, catching two balls and running in a TD to give the Saints a 14-3 lead at halftime. Steelers respond with a long drive that ends with a Rashard Mendenhall TD. They go for two and are denied, leaving the score 14-9. Saints go on a long march converting three third downs along the way to a Hartley (who’s back) FG to go up 17-9. Pittsburgh again responds with a long scoring drive and is again denied on the two-point try. The Saints run out the clock to escape with a 17-15 victory.

NEW ORLEANS AT CAROLINA, NOVEMBER 7

With the Saints running corps back at full speed, this game is a very different story than their first meeting. Carolina again plays tough but don’t have the horses to keep up with the Saints. Carolina scores on their first play from scrimmage, an 80-yard Williams run. New Orleans comes right back with three consecutive scoring drives (and two three and outs) to go up 17-7. J. Stewart scores but Pierre Thomas answers on the next drive to take a 24-14 lead into the locker room at half. Carolina’s Stewart scores again, but on the next drive Henderson brings in his second TD catch. Another 3 and out for Carolina, then Bush ices the game with a TD on the ensuing punt return. All three phases put together a hard fought 38-21 road win.

SEATTLE AT NEW ORLEANS, NOVEMBER 21

On the opening drive, Brees marches the offense to a Henderson TD in four plays. The teams trade three and outs, then Seattle drives for a missed FG. (Can anyone kick field goals this year?) Brees connects with Meachem for a TD just before half to go up 14-0. Seattle responds with a second half TD drive, but the defense will hold them scoreless the rest of the way. Colston (3/50, TD) and P. Thomas (90 total yards, TD) add two more scores to mop up a 28-7 Saints victory.

NEW ORLEANS AT DALLAS, THANKSGIVING

Dallas again gives the Saints pass protection lots of problems in this rematch of the Saints’ first loss last season. Saints go three and out. Dallas goes three and out. Saints drive for a long Hartley FG. Another couple of three and outs, Dallas intercepts and takes advantage with a long Austin Collie TD reception to go up by four. Henderson responds with a long TD of his own. Dallas needs only three plays to score on a long Felix Jones run. In the two minute drill, Brees marches sixty five yards in four plays that ends the half with a Colston TD and makes the score 17-14. Dallas drives to a first and goal, then Porter picks off Romo when he goes to the Witten well one to many times. Pierre goes up the Cowboys’ derriere for a score to make it 24-14 with 4:30 left in the game. Dallas misses a long FG, the Saints go three and out, and Dallas scores with less than a minute remaining. New Orleans runs out the clock after the Cowboys’ ensuing failed onside kick to pull out a Turkey Day win, 24-21. Player of the game: Devery Henderson ends up with 2 catches for 87 yards and 2 TDs.

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October 29th 2010

Saints/Steelers Preview: Horses@$t!

I keep hearing theories on why the Saints were playing so badly and how to fix it. Drew’s hurt and hiding it. The receiving corps is injured and hiding it. The O-Line is pulling a Charles Grant. The Saints need to keep running it. The Saints need to go downfield more often. My sister-in-law even heard this in the Dome restroom: “You know what it’s like to have two babies around? Drew needs his own apartment!”

Man cave aside, it’s clear that the Saints, particularly Brees, are playing tight. But Payton has a knack for getting them up and prepared for big games, and there are none bigger so far this season. If I were Payton, I’d want to inject a little more fun, some smiley good times, somehow, just so they team plays loose. He’s good at impressions. Maybe he should show the team his impression of Rothlisberger trying out pick-up lines? “Wanna know why they call me Big Ben?”

Maybe we’ll see a repeat of last year’s Patriots shellacking? Or maybe Pittsburgh will make Cleveland look like the crappy team they are. Who knows? That’s the problem. Which team will show up? The bad ass Saints from the Tampa game? Or the not ready for prime time version we’ve seen in this year’s losses?

I was having too easy a time playing Madden on the All-Pro level. It’s a good game against the Steelers, but the Saints invariably pull away late. We all know that’s not going to happen. The real Saints are playing teams who have stepped up their game, so I figured I had better do the same with my opponents. So, here we go…

Steelers get the ball first and march down the field easily, too easily, finishing with a 44-yd Heath Miller run and catch. He breaks about 80 tackles on the way to the end zone, adding insult to injury. So it’s going to be like that, eh, Madden? Saints respond with an 80-yard drive. Ivory’s big on first and second downs, and he scores on a play action catch on third and goal from the two. All tied up 7-7. How you doin’, Madden? You like that? You like that? Pittsburgh wants to pass, Saints want to blitz – Sack!!! Second and long, incomplete. Third and long, sack! Fumble! But the Steelers recover at their own 9. Why is that not surprising? A missed opportunity that will come back to haunt me.

The defenses take over for the next few series, resulting in four consecutive punts. Lots of drops, particularly from Meacham and Shockey. Lots of Steelers in the backfield on running plays. Finally, the Saints get some offense going, with slants to Colston and Henderson on blitzes for big first downs. Fourth and goal from the three, Shockey in the flat, touchdown! Saints up 14-7 with two minutes to play in the half. Rothlisberger throws a bomb from the 20 (!) and Mike Wallace comes up with it on the nine despite being draped by three defenders. Are you f-ing kidding me??!!! You cheat Madden!!! (The battle cry of the suffering gamer – ED.) Former Green Waver Mewelde Moore runs through another 80 tackles on the next play to tie up the game with fifty four seconds left in the half. Horses@$t!!! You cheaaat!!

From the shotgun, Shockey’s open over the middle to the Saints 45. Next play, Ivory on a curl to the Pittsburgh 32. Forty seconds left. Brees deep to Colston – Touchdown!! Saints up 21-14. Rothlisberger quickly gets the Steelers in position for a 50-yard FG attempt, but it’s just wide. Halftime. Whew! (Seriously? Two touchdowns and an attempted field goal in the last two minutes? Between these teams? I’m starting to question someone’s game. – ED.)

The third quarter is scoreless with a series of defensive stands. Saints D finally gets a turnover on a sack/fumble on the Pittsburgh 40 – but the offense can’t capitalize. Fourth quarter is more of the same until Brees is sack/fumbled on his own twenty and the Steelers recover with just over two minutes left. Mendenhall up the middle, 28 Saints stop him behind the line, but somehow he squirts out of the pile to score. Really??!!! Game’s tied up, 21 all.

Saints have to punt, but run out most of the clock, thirty seconds left. Pittsburgh gets the ball on the Saints 42. Third and long, the deep bomb to Hines Ward, in double coverage. Touchdown Steelers. No time left. Saints lose 28-21. GFY Madden. You too, Rothlisberger. Player of the game is R. Mendenhall: 12 attempts, 128 yards, and one TD. There are no highlights to show you. Just a bunch of horses@$t!

Looking forward to: Who Cares?

Not looking forward to: Why Bother?

Media Prediction: Screw them.

Madden Tip: I hate the Steelers!!! I hate (unintelliglble) stupid Steelers. I hate

football!!! I hate football!!!!

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Rock Tip: Come see Supagroup at Voodoo this Saturday, 10/30/10, in the Bingo! Parlour at 7:45 p.m.

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October 25th 2010

Saints Post-Game: Time for Karaoke?

I’m running out of lucky shirts.  With each loss this year, I’ve relegated my Manning throwback, my “For Those About To Rock- Saints Tour 09’”, and my long sleeve Saints shirts to the “unlucky” pile.  I’m seriously considering not wearing anything Saints-related until and unless they get on a roll. I’m begging you, please don’t make me wear my Ricky Williams jersey!

What a shellacking. What a disappointment. The Browns? Come on! Give them credit; they had a great game plan, which it seems was very informed by former Saint Scott Fujita’s knowledge of the Saints offense. Their O-line was as tough as the Saints’ was leaky, and when they needed a big play on defense or special teams, they executed.

The Steelers will probably not want or need to reach into their bag of trick plays, but you never know. Now that the Browns succeeded with them, every team down the road will at least think about pulling some shenanigans. Why wouldn’t they? Usually those plays blow up in your face, but yesterday every one of them worked. Oy, now we gotta worry about that?

This next game is potentially the defining moment of the Saints season. I’m not saying that if they lose, the season’s over. Even with a loss, they are still 4-4 with lots of football left. But they better show up ready to play one of the best teams in football. They had better look like a team that believes they can make things happen. The killer instinct has been replaced with tentativeness. The points factory has been converted into a turnover plant. And Brees looks like he’s playing with the weight of the world on his shoulders. If they don’t come to play, they continue to lollygag, they continue to play without a sense of urgency – well, it’s going to be painful to watch them stumble, bumble, and fumble their way to a middling, and out of the playoffs, record.

Brees needs some help. Reggie, Pierre, Greer, Porter, when are you getting better? Shanle, Sharper, Bueller, Bueller, Bueller? Anyone? Alex Brown, when are you and the rest of the D-line going to get to the QB? Receiving corps, when are you going to get open? O-line, when are you going to get mad and start pushing these defenses around? And anybody that knows how to get a GD turnover please step forward. Drew is going to need your help to get out of this funk. This is still a team that is very dangerous and frankly, if you’re going to have a bad stretch, don’t you want it to happen at the beginning rather than the end? The Saints can get on a roll, but it has to be a team effort, and it can’t be all on Breezy. For a team that’s been together for a while now, they still haven’t jelled into a team for whatever reason.  And by “team” I mean that they can win without Brees or even despite him if he has a bad day. The crucible of this last loss and the upcoming Steelers game is where these very talented individuals either come together as a team or start falling apart. Maybe they should all go to Ruth’s Chris and eat a whole cow together? Maybe indulge in a night of team building Karaoke at the Saint on Tuesday? I would personally love to see Payton’s Kenny Chesney impression. Maybe a night at Chuck E. Cheese followed by a sleepover? Fishing expedition?  Whatever it is, it better be soon.

Looking forward to: Halloween, where I can stop obsessing about the Saints plight for even just one day. Oh, the game’s on Halloween?  Never mind.

Not looking forward to: Ah jeez.

Media Prediction: No one in the national media is going to pick the Saints this week.  And rightly so.

Madden Tip: I’m going to have to move up to All Madden to account for all my shitty predictions. So until I figure that out, I predict I will get the Saints’ asses kicked for a while. I also predict that I will probably smash the game or my TV set in while doing it.

Rock Tip: Come see me as Supagroup plays Voodoo this Saturday, 10/30/10, in the Bingo! Parlour at 8 p.m.

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October 22nd 2010

Saints/Browns Preview: Hartley Needs to Get a Grip

WHEW!

That felt good.  Looked good, sounded good, it was good. See what a run game’ll do for a team? It helped a pretty pedestrian team like Tampa Bay roll to a 3-1 record. It makes an okay, “game-managing” quarterback (see Alex Smith) look good, and a good QB (see Matt Ryan) seem great. And it makes a very good team, like the Saints, seem unstoppable. But seriously, did anyone think Chris Ivory was going to pound the Bucs that hard? He looked like Deuce back there. Ten (!) yards a carry? Wow!  I’ll admit, every time he touched the ball I held my breath for him to fumble, but that was impressive. And they really didn’t involve him in the passing game; those touches went to Ladell Betts. He’ll be even more of a threat when the coaches trust him to catch the ball. Marvin Mitchell and rookie Patrick Robinson also had breakout games. These are the type of role players that you need to go on a championship run. When Reggie, PT, Greer, Porter, Shanle, or (God forbid) Vilma gets nicked up late in the year – somebody’s going to be hurt late in the year – it’s great to know the guy stepping in has already proven they are ready to handle the spotlight.

Hartley, come on man.  What’s happening here?  Are you not getting laid enough?  Maybe as one of last year’s playoff heroes, you’re actually getting laid too much? You do have a bit of an Emo kid/Justin Beiber vibe. Chicks must love you, but could you do me a favor? Just reel it in a little bit. Reel it in. You’ve got a job to do and we’re all counting on you. Think of game day like a prizefighter does. You need your head empty and your sack full. Stop thinking so much about those Metarie broads you hooked up with at Lucy’s Friday, and just kick the ball with muscle memory, man. Come on! Another thing, you came close to calling out the holder and snapper after the game and you should know that no one’s going to buy that. Not the fans, and certainly not the guys in your locker room. Get your house in order and reel it in.

Coming up is the absolute worst team New Orleans could play next. The Cleveland Browns, at 1-5, and starting rookie QB Colt McCoy is the kind of team that seems like an automatic win. And with Pittsburgh looming on Halloween, it would be easy to look past them. They’re not terrible, can run the ball, and the Saints have only been consistent in their inconsistency. If the breaks go their way, could they beat the Saints at home? Here’s what Madden had to say.


Brees to Colston

Week 7, Cleveland @ NO – I played this game a few times, and kept getting the same result, Saints blowout.  28-0, 48-10, it’s not going to go like that, is it?  The Browns, although 1-5, have been in every game they’ve played but the Pittsburgh loss, and they were in that one until the second half. But they are starting rookie QB Colt McCoy (why does that make me nervous?) and their offense is 31st in points scored. Without much of a passing game (just Josh Cribbs), the Browns are forced to run, run, pass on third and long, punt, run, run, trick play, punt, run, run, wildcat, punt. The Saints D takes Colt McCoy apart with six sacks, two INT’s and a safety. Even in a game where Brees throws three INTs, two to Fujita, (sorry Drew, I blew it again) and Ivory fumbles, the Browns have no answer for the Saints offense. 


Ivory for the TD.

Colston catches a TD, H. Evans runs in another, and player of the game C. Ivory runs for 97 yards on 17 carries, with three catches for another 58 yards and a TD. Saints D steps up after every turnover as the Browns lose respectably 23-10, but with the play action provided by Ivory’s big game, this game could easily get out of hand.


Brees to Henderson

Looking forward to: What’s going to happen with Sharper/Jenkins? Does Sharper get his spot back? I think not, at least not right away. But if he does start again, does Jenkins go back to the nickel CB spot? If so, where does that leave Gay and Robinson? In any case, a good problem to have.

Not looking forward to: Rooting against Scott Fujita. He was one of the most stand up guys on the Saints the last couple of years, a real early believer in, and foundation of, the Sean Payton era. But on Sunday, from noon to three, it’s going to be all “Hey Fujita!  Fuuuuuuuuuuuggggggyyyoouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!”

Media Prediction: ”Trap game” talk about the Saints looking past Cleveland to their Helloween showdown with Pittsburgh. If there’s not, there should be.

The Buddy D Memorial List (a.k.a. If the playoffs started today)

NFC: 1. New York Giants, 2. Atlanta, 3. Chicago vs. 6. Philadelphia, 4. Arizona vs. 5. New Orleans.

AFC: 1. New York Jets, 2. Pittsburgh, 3. New England vs. 6. Tennessee, 4. Houston vs. 5. Baltimore.

Madden Tip: Don’t play as the Browns.

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October 15th 2010

Saints at Tampa Bay Preview: Blindsided!

Didn’t see that coming. Actually, that’s not true. I did. I found myself reverting to the Saints fan I was up and until the Super Bowl win this February (that seems like a loooosng time ago, doesn’t it?) That guy is always going, “This is a dangerous game, the Saints are looking shaky in all three phases, the Cards could hang around, get some breaks….” But this year I decided to not listen to that guy anymore. This year I was going to keep a positive outlook and not get caught in the easy negativity of the past. That was the old Saints and the old Saints fan in me and they’re both dead.

Aww hell, we’re screwed. This is going to be just like 2007 and 2008, where they’re always a game or two out of the playoffs – winning just enough to keep you coming back but never getting over the hump. Ohnotagain, ARIZONA? You’vegottobefriggingkiddingme!! THEY GOT THREE DEFENSIVE TOUCHDOWNS???? WHATTHEHELLISGOINGON???!!!!!!

NO! Not this year! I’m not going there. Not this year. Gonna stay positive, gotta stay positive. Hang on, I’m going to go watch “America’s Game: SB44” again.

Okay, much better now. This is just going to heighten the drama later. What would happen if this were a Rocky movie? Well, Rocky’s training regimen has been constantly interrupted by personal appearances, awards shows, commercials etc. He hasn’t taken it all that seriously, instead basking in the well deserved spotlight while Clubber Lang has been the one catching chickens. He gets in the ring against a much more motivated opponent, and gets dropped in the second round. He’s going to get up, to be sure, but now Rocky knows it’s serious. This is going to be a fight. A down and dirty, drag-out, broken-nosed fight. And his eye is already bleeding. Tampa Bay is a dangerous team, playing with the confidence of having nothing to lose. They’re going to bring the same game plan the rest of the league has been using, and will continue to use until the Saints prove they can make them pay for it. Again, the answer to the soft coverage they’ve been seeing is the running game. Maybe Ivory gets more consistent? Maybe Betts was still rusty? Maybe Julius Jones can help? Probably, though, it won’t really get much better until PT and Reggie get back to blow this “make em’ dink and dunk” game plan to smithereens. Here’s what Madden had to say this week:


Saints go long at the end of the half.

Bucs get the ball first and the Saints D forces a three and out. Then Brees drives down the field in four plays, finishing with a Colston TD. Another Tampa three and out. Could this be the game they bust one open? Just as I’m thinking that, B. Rudd gets a sack/fumble of Brees, Tampa recovers on the 13, but the defense holds them to a field goal. Now NOLA goes three and out, and Tampa goes on a long drive for another FG, now down only 7-6. Saints next drive ends with an interception returned to the 49 with 1:30 left in the half. These MF’ers could go into halftime winning! But the defense comes to the rescue again, and the Bucs miss a 52-yard FG. Brees has 52 seconds, two timeouts, and the ball on the 45. More than enough time to score. Brees hits Henderson for a TD with 13 seconds left to go into the half up 14-6! Whooooo!!!!

Saints go three and out on their first possession of the second half, and Tampa responds with a long drive for a C. Williams TD. They go for two to tie it, DENIED! Saints still up 14-12. Getting that “heavy elephant” feeling in my chest again. Wonder what that means? Oh well, I’m sure the offense will put it together on this next drive – OH MY GOD, I THREW ANOTHER INTERCEPTION! I’m such and idiot! And of course Tampa methodically marches to another score, and this time they get the 2-pt conversion to go up 14-20 with 1:54 left in the game. Deep breaths. Get off me, elephant! Here we go. Brees from the shotgun starts picking the Bucs secondary apart in 11, 15, 19 yard chunks. There’s still enough time to run, and Ivory breaks off a big first down run to get the Saints to the 11. Brees hits Meachem on a crossing route and he crashes into the end zone with 26 tics left on the clock. Hartley extra point is good, Tampa has four desperation heaves, but can’t connect as time runs out on the Bucs, 21-20.

Brees 14-24-207, 3TD, 2 INT. Saints win despite being -3 in the turnover ratio. Tampa has 127 yards rushing to New Orleans 51. Other than the first drive, and the last drives of either half, the Saints offense can’t get in sync.

Looking forward to: The Saints winning (pleasepleaseplease).

Not looking forward to: More texts from Favre. When’s he going to get the hint?

Media Prediction: As Jets/Ravens/Pittsburgh bandwagons grow bigger, NFC goes back to being the “Inferior” Conference.

The Buddy D Memorial List (a.k.a. – If the playoffs started today)
NFC: 1. Atlanta, 2. Chicago (come on, really?), 3. Washington vs. 6. New York, 4. Arizona vs. 6. Tampa Bay (REALLY?)
AFC: 1. Baltimore, 2. New York, 3. Kansas City vs. 6. Pittsburgh, 4. Houston vs. 5. New England.

Madden Tip: What a stupid game. 35 to 10?! Come on!

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October 8th 2010

Saints/Cardinal Preview: A Year That Makes Steelers Fans of us All

The glass half full/half empty sides of the same comment kept coming up after the Saints win over Carolina this week. On one side was “They’re a missed field goal away from a perfect 4 and 0.”  The other side was “They’re ten points away from being 0 and 4.” Strangely, the first comment was said by the pessimists (except in the case of Drew Brees, but I’m talking about fans here), and the second one by the optimists. Such is the complete turnaround of this just recently storied franchise that 3 and 1 is something of a disappointment. Are you kidding me? Congrats, Payton, you’ve turned us into Steelers fans. Or worse, (shudder) Cowboys fans – spoiled rotten jagoffs.

Okay, I apologize, that’s going to far. But you get what I’m saying.

But, if the Saints go the rest of the year winning three of every four games, their final record will be 12 and 4. A 12 and 4 record means they’re definitely in the playoffs, likely have a first round bye, and maybe even home advantage throughout.  Let me ask you a question, Saints fans. Will that make you happy? What if that does happen, but every single one of their wins is decided by a touchdown or less? It’ll make local heart doctors ecstatic, at least. It seems the feeling around town is less “Close games = I’m feeling scared” and more “Why aren’t they kicking the shit out of these teams?  WTF is wrong with the Saints?”  Hey, I like to see a beatdown as much as the next guy, but Carolina always plays the Saints tough, and they did it again.

But last year the beatdowns came when the Saints were working with a two touchdown lead. When they can make a team one dimensional (passing to play catch-up), the defense gets more aggressive and starts taking the ball away for short fields, even scoring themselves. That’s when the points pile up.  Although the Saints haven’t been up by more than eight points yet this season, they came a goal line fumble away from pulling off this very game plan last week. This week at least, that changes. The Cardinals have won two close games over the not very good St. Louis and Oakland, and lost badly to the very good Atlanta and San Diego. Rookie QB Max Hall is slated to start for the 31st ranked offense, and the Cards 29th ranked defense is in disarray. Brees has been frustrated by the lack of points the offense is putting up so far, but this week look for a points explosion.  Here’s what Madden had to say about the game.


Brees to Colston

Shockey scores on the second play from scrimmage. Arizona tries to establish the run, no dice. Shockey scores again!  Arizona again tries to establish the run, no dice, then can’t get the ball to Fitzgerald. Saints keep up the pressure and head into half time up 28-3. The running game gets going for over 100 yards (Backs TBA because Madden hasn’t updated to reflect the addition of Betts and Wynn to the roster) in the second half as the teams trade touchdowns while the Saints milk the clock. A Brees sack/fumble sets up Arizona’s only TD. Defense gets into the act with lots of pressure, three sacks, and two INTs. Brees ends the day with five TDs on 318 yards, usually working with short fields, as the Saints finally blow one out 35-10.

Looking forward to:  Derek Anderson coming in during the fourth quarter after Hall gets his bell rung.

Not looking forward to:  Playing the Falcons three times this year.

Media Prediction: Retired Arizona QB Kurt Warner will be in the Fox booth for the game. Wonder if his commentary will be “fair and balanced”? Time to turn up Jim Henderson and Hokie. By the way, when are they going to get that synched with the HD feed? It’s annoying. Also, Moss trade media hype. The spotlight in the NFC returns to Minnesota if they start winning, but what happens if they keep losing, like, oh say, to the Jets this week? Watch for Childress’ seat to get hot very quickly.

Discussion Topic: When PT and Reggie get back, who gets the ‘Mike Bell’ role, Ivory or Betts?

Madden Tip:  Don’t always play as the Saints. You’ll never get better that way; they’re too good. When playing two player mode, both players hit left trigger or L2 when selecting teams (which will give you a random team) three times for three team choices.  Then play either worst vs. worst, best vs. best, middle vs. middle, or all three.  Then let the trash-talking begin.

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October 1st 2010

Saints vs. Carolina Panthers: Come On!

Charlie Brown’s got nothing on Saints fans this week. Atlanta’s Lucy act has left us flat on our backs and yelling AAAUGH! Atlanta is a very good team, to be sure – balanced run vs. pass, a savvy QB, and lots of weapons on offense. And with a tough, opportunistic defense that takes the ball away, it seems like they’re what this year’s Saints team was supposed to be. But they’re not. Unfortunately, the Saints have shown the league that they are very beatable, especially when they are making uncharacteristic mistakes, (turnovers/kicking game/playcalling/flags, you name it last week). You might have to play a near-perfect game to do so, but that’s basically what Atlanta did, and in the Dome, no less. If you want to win against the Saints, the key is patience with the running game as well as on defense, and hope the Saints make some mistakes. Until the Saints can stop the run, every game is going to go down to the wire.

Glad it’s over: TE Tony Gonzales destroying whomever the Saints put on him.  It was like a bad, recurring joke – Falcons get to third down, I start shouting, “Put someone on Gonzales! He just burned you ten times in a row!  He’s going to do it again!” Gonzales makes the catch. “Dammit! Are you kidding me? Come on!” Repeat. He’s still making third down conversions. There goes another one. Come on!

Looking forward to: Carolina quarterback Jimmy Clausen, he’s a rookie right? Gregg Williams loves to feast on rookie QBs, right? The D line as gotta get to the QB this week, right? Right? Come on!

Not looking forward to: Yet another team running it down the Saints’ throats. I had Madden simulate the Saints’ entire 2010 season recently. At the end of the year, the Saints were ranked first in total offense (okay, I’ll buy that), first in passing offense (sure) and fifth in running offense (sorry Madden, there’s no way). However, the Saints run defense was ranked dead last out of 32 teams. I know it’s a video game, but at this point that doesn’t seem too hard to believe. Come on!

Media Prediction: Now that the Saints have been knocked from the top of all the  ”Power Rankings,” they will not return to number one for the rest of the year – unless they win the Super Bowl.

Discussion Topic: Are TEs the Saints’ Kryptonite? And what is the Kryptonite for Kryptonite? Bonus Topic:  Shouldn’t “Power Rankings” be the teams that would make the playoffs if they started today? Next week I’m going to start a list just like this:  What should I call it? “If the Playoffs started Today” is so boring. I’m thinking something like “The Super Star Top Giant Kick Ass List”, “The Shao Lin Masters of Football” or maybe even “Sexy Time Party at Roethlisberger’s!” Or something. Suggestions welcome.

Carolina’s got the horses to play the “Keep away/make ‘em earn it game” very well, as they have two great backs in DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart to pound it out on the ground and shorten the game. Facing Clausen is about the best thing to look forward to this week. Maybe the Saints D can get in his head early with confusing looks and blitzes. Or, maybe we make a rookie look like John Elway, which has happened a lot more than I’d like to remember.  Here’s what Madden had to say about the game:

The Saints open with an 80-yard drive that ends with a Shockey TD, but the Panthers respond with two Stewart rushing TDs, one set up by a Brees sack/fumble. Another turnover sets up a Carolina FG to make it 7-17.  Brees in the two-minute drill is unstoppable (why aren’t they always in the two-minute drill?) to bring the half to a close with another Shockey TD.

Meachem burns Carolina deep for a TD on play action. It’s a back and forth defensive battle, but Harper seals the game with an INT in the waning moments. Brees is 17/20, 242 yds with 3 TDs, and INT and a fumble, Shockey is 4/57 yds and 2 TDs.   Ayodele, Vilma and Dunbar all get sacks as the Saints get back on track in a nailbiter, 21-17.

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October 1st 2010

Madden Picks the Saints: October

[Supagroup’s Chris Lee is playing this year’s Saints season on Madden ’11 and using it to predict this season’s games.]

October 3, Carolina at New Orleans: Carolina may be the toughest match-up for the Saints in the division. They play good defense, control the clock, and can score quickly. Their big plays come on the ground, with DeAngelo Williams being ridiculously hard to both catch and to bring down, and Jonathan Stewart would start on almost any other team. QB Matt Moore is actually quite good against coverage as well as the blitz, and this results in loooooong drives going both ways. However, without a solid receiver to take the pressure off of Steve Smith, the Saints Defense concentrates on keeping Williams contained, if not stopped. Evans and Bush score through the air, and the defense racks up three sacks and two INTs as the Saints grind out a tough 20-7 win.

October 10, New Orleans at Arizona: Madden finds Arizona a team in disarray as Brees breaks the NFL record for passing TDs in a game as he throws seven to seven different receivers (Evans, Henderson, Meacham, Moore, Pierre Thomas, Colston and Bush) and over 400 yards passing. Morstead doesn’t punt once. The Cards’ Steve Breaston catches and runs in two scores while two Brees sack/fumbles (Sorry Drew, I let you down) returned for TDs make the final score a somewhat misleading 52-31 Saints victory.

October 17, New Orleans at Tampa Bay: Porter takes back Josh Freeman’s first pass for a score, Shockey catches four first downs including two TDs, Bush scores on the ground, and Colston catches seven passes for over 100 yards as the young Bucs go down 35-7.

October 24, Cleveland at New Orleans: I have a feeling the Browns, and especially Jake Delhomme, are going to be much better this year than Madden gives them credit for, but Reggie Bush breaks open a close 7-0 game late in the first half with a punt return for TD, and later catches another score. Once the Saints go up two TDs, it’s all Pierre Thomas as he finishes with a TD and over 100 total yards. Alex Brown has two sacks, Porter and Harper add picks, and the defense holds Cleveland scoreless for what could have been a lot worse than the 28-0 final score indicates.

Trends: Toughest game by far this month is Carolina at home…Madden hates: Delhomme, Freeman, Saints run D, (hope the next update corrects this somewhat)…Madden loves: Matt Moore, DeAngelo Williams, Tracy Porter; and Sedrick Ellis is having a breakout season.

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